"The Goal, Not The Self: An Adherence To Institutional Mission..."

I awoke to a thought this morning. Honestly, I have had the same thought for several days now. We are or maybe always have been self-centered. Is self-centeredness a problem? Self-centeredness is the preoccupation with oneself and one’s affairs.1

Stop to consider. Are you consumed with oneself and one’s own affairs? How did you arrive at the preoccupation with oneself or not? When did you conclude that your own affairs or oneself were the only idea to consider when interacting with so many others? Do most Americans value and reward self-centeredness?

So much of what we do in our jobs or professions involve others, but yet, as humans (perhaps in my limited sphere) we remain self-centered. If our job(s) or profession(s) is to help or aid others, why is the underlining theme revolve around the personal benefit. In so many magazines that I do read, I find “tips” or “strategies” that would aid in career or professional advancement. The actions suggested by these magazines do ask that you (or the one seeking advancement) do things (i.e. buy coffee, make phone calls, sponsor parties, etc.) for others that have great social influence than you (networking), but each article concludes with a perceived social benefit to those call to actions. Are these actions genuine? How might these actions be perceived by the one receiving them?

First, self-centeredness potentially suggest that what is done for others, there is something in it for you. That is not true! If the world is strung-out on self-centeredness, the person receiving what is done, may not every equate value to what is being done for them or the cause.

Second, self-centeredness potentially lead to thinking that people are easily interchangeable. Pierre Bourdieu, a French sociologist, expressed concern with the social world and knew of a need to reintroduce the idea of capital2 (i.e. social, cultural, etc.) to prevent the social world from being “reduced to a discontinuous series of instantaneous mechanical equilibria between agents who are treated as interchangeable particles” (p. 241) The value is in the accumulated capital and character. The key is healthy interaction and accumulated labor or capital in sustained human relations. It is to hope that the interchangeability idea potentially receives a firm challenge.

Third, self-centeredness potentially lead to thinking that you control the outcomes of interacting with others. Communication is a two way street. Challenge self-centeredness by understanding the focus is not on self or in this case other people, but on the mission of the institution that serve people. If you are interacting with others with the mission of the institution in mind and the future interaction with others do not go well with the promotion of the mission, you have done your best. Buy coffee, making phone calls, sponsoring parties, etc may aid in promoting the mission, but does not guarantee it.

I conclude; self-centeredness is a problem. Continuity of the mission and enhancing the knowledge networks are critical in sustained human relations, which is the goal not the self.

1 Dictionary.app 2.0.2, Copyright 2005-2008 Apple Inc.
2 “The Forms of Capital”

Somethings: bad gamble; use other forms of capital to enhance

In Class and Schools: Using Social, Economic, and Educational Reform to Close the Black-White Achievement Gap, Richard Rothstein presents a compeling argument in education reform which addresses the achievement gap in public schools. The reasons given for the gap, not just by Richard Rothstein, are well documented. Those needing a firm orientation regarding the role of culture or class in the gap should read Richard’s book.

After you have determined the issue is a great deal deeper than more money for public schools, more advance teachers in public schools, or “better kids” that are willing to learn, we can begin to see the role of healthy families in addressing cultural issues that plague efforts to close the achievement gap. We can begin to see the true value in organizations that offer the forms of capital (Read chapter two in The Covenant with Black America) to aid families in acquiring meaningful data (information) to engage them into the life of the child. One sure organization is the Parent Teacher Association (PTA).

Just recently, I came across some useful “institutional capital” that speaks to the results of good self-esteem in a child. The tips from Rainbows’s founder Suzy Yehl Marta provides suggestions to aid parents in providing conditions that may assist in good self-esteem in their child. Read the comments below which were taken from the PTA website and shared. Please comment, later, on what you did not know, as a parent or guardian, before reading Marta’s comments below.

“Family Key to Building Child's Self-Esteem: Be confident: Children model parents' behavior

Helping a child build self-esteem is a crucial and often difficult task for parents. One easy tip for parents to remember is that they are the models for their child's self-esteem, according to Suzy Yehl Marta, founder of Rainbows (http://www.rainbows.org/) in Rolling Meadows, Illinois. The effects of a parent lacking self-esteem trickle down to his or her children, she says. Read on for more ways Marta says can help parents strengthen their children's self-esteem.

Family serves as the foundation for self-esteem. Having a healthy, functioning family does more to build a child's self-esteem than anything, according to Marta, president of Rainbows, which helps kids heal emotionally after suffering a loss. It does not matter if the family is of the single-parent variety or the traditional nuclear family. "It just needs to be a healthy place for children to thrive in," she says.

Other tips from Marta:

Positive Talk – Don't put yourself down. Don't say negative things about your spouse, especially in a separation or divorce situation. That goes right to the heart of a child, "The message to the child is if dad is bad or not dependable then I must be too because I'm half mom and half dad," contends Marta.

Don't be a Parachute Parent – You can't always "parachute" in to solve your child's problems. Empower your child to take care of his or her own business when appropriate. Be available but also teach them how to handle challenges on their own.

Disappointment is OK – There is a whole generation of parents who don't ever want their children to feel bad. You see this in things like sports leagues where every kid gets a trophy. This treatment and over-protection makes for unrealistic expectations from life. "Our sole job is to prepare (children) for adulthood. And as adults, you don't always get a prize," she says.

Sincere Praise – Tell them when they do well and when they do poorly tell them so in a loving way. False praise leads to more unrealistic expectations.

Monitor Media – Negative messages on television, in movies, across the Internet and beyond erode a child's self-esteem. Monitor what they are viewing and talk with them about it. Review PTA's tip sheets on monitoring media

Say No – The word "no" is a love word.. Children must learn they cannot have everything they want. This teaches them to be more discerning.

Express Love – Tell children daily that you love them. Parents would be surprised how often this does not happen...and how powerful it is when it does.

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Communicating with your children is also necessary to help them build self-esteem. Read this Our Children article for tips on opening lines of communication.”

Michael Vick's return to the NFL makes sense

We all make decisions. We only hope that the results of our decisions are not as severe as those of Michael Vick. Michael Vick's participation in animal cruelty is well documented. Animal lovers around the world may forgive, but many will never forget. Every NFL fan awaits the day that Michael Vick takes the field. Will the views of PETA affect NFL fans' views of Michael Vick and the team that signed him: Philadelphia Eagles? Well, if you have been keeping track of sports talk, many have shown support for the Eagles and Michael Vick, but just as many have shown discontent over the the signing and over Michael Vick's return.

Personally, I am happy to see Micheal Vick, but I am sad to see the controversy that surrounds Vick's return. I wonder if there are any among us that have made a mistake and had the safe space to heal from that mistake. Where is the safe space for Michael Vick? Was it in the 2 year prison sentence? We need to consider where that space is or was for Michael Vick. Again, we all make decisions. We only hope that the results of our decisions are not as severe as those of Michael Vick. If the results are as severe, I only hope that the safe space is available to arrive at personal regret and a chance at forgiveness.

Micheal Vick do your best and your return makes sense.