In Class and Schools: Using Social, Economic, and Educational Reform to Close the Black-White Achievement Gap, Richard Rothstein presents a compeling argument in education reform which addresses the achievement gap in public schools. The reasons given for the gap, not just by Richard Rothstein, are well documented. Those needing a firm orientation regarding the role of culture or class in the gap should read Richard’s book.
After you have determined the issue is a great deal deeper than more money for public schools, more advance teachers in public schools, or “better kids” that are willing to learn, we can begin to see the role of healthy families in addressing cultural issues that plague efforts to close the achievement gap. We can begin to see the true value in organizations that offer the forms of capital (Read chapter two in The Covenant with Black America) to aid families in acquiring meaningful data (information) to engage them into the life of the child. One sure organization is the Parent Teacher Association (PTA).
Just recently, I came across some useful “institutional capital” that speaks to the results of good self-esteem in a child. The tips from Rainbows’s founder Suzy Yehl Marta provides suggestions to aid parents in providing conditions that may assist in good self-esteem in their child. Read the comments below which were taken from the PTA website and shared. Please comment, later, on what you did not know, as a parent or guardian, before reading Marta’s comments below.
“Family Key to Building Child's Self-Esteem: Be confident: Children model parents' behavior
Helping a child build self-esteem is a crucial and often difficult task for parents. One easy tip for parents to remember is that they are the models for their child's self-esteem, according to Suzy Yehl Marta, founder of Rainbows (http://www.rainbows.org/) in Rolling Meadows, Illinois. The effects of a parent lacking self-esteem trickle down to his or her children, she says. Read on for more ways Marta says can help parents strengthen their children's self-esteem.
Family serves as the foundation for self-esteem. Having a healthy, functioning family does more to build a child's self-esteem than anything, according to Marta, president of Rainbows, which helps kids heal emotionally after suffering a loss. It does not matter if the family is of the single-parent variety or the traditional nuclear family. "It just needs to be a healthy place for children to thrive in," she says.
Other tips from Marta:
Positive Talk – Don't put yourself down. Don't say negative things about your spouse, especially in a separation or divorce situation. That goes right to the heart of a child, "The message to the child is if dad is bad or not dependable then I must be too because I'm half mom and half dad," contends Marta.
Don't be a Parachute Parent – You can't always "parachute" in to solve your child's problems. Empower your child to take care of his or her own business when appropriate. Be available but also teach them how to handle challenges on their own.
Disappointment is OK – There is a whole generation of parents who don't ever want their children to feel bad. You see this in things like sports leagues where every kid gets a trophy. This treatment and over-protection makes for unrealistic expectations from life. "Our sole job is to prepare (children) for adulthood. And as adults, you don't always get a prize," she says.
Sincere Praise – Tell them when they do well and when they do poorly tell them so in a loving way. False praise leads to more unrealistic expectations.
Monitor Media – Negative messages on television, in movies, across the Internet and beyond erode a child's self-esteem. Monitor what they are viewing and talk with them about it. Review PTA's tip sheets on monitoring media
Say No – The word "no" is a love word.. Children must learn they cannot have everything they want. This teaches them to be more discerning.
Express Love – Tell children daily that you love them. Parents would be surprised how often this does not happen...and how powerful it is when it does.
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Communicating with your children is also necessary to help them build self-esteem. Read this Our Children article for tips on opening lines of communication.”
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